Baby Bad
by raukothon
Summary: Spike is turned into a four year old, chaos ensues. Response to Higgy's Challenge, written by Slayya and Spammi


A/N: This is a response to Higgy's challenge from Not So Big Bad (check it out if you haven't done so already!)

A/N again: This follows on from Higgy's chapter 1, i.e. Spike is already a kid.

CHAPTER TWO

"Spike? Are you ok?" Angel's face was full of concern. Spike sat up and looked timidly at the group of people standing in front of him. His eyes came to rest on Lorne and he screamed, pulling the bed covers over his head.

"Shh, shh, it's ok Spike!" Angel tried to coax Spike out from under the covers. "He's a good…"

"Monster!" came the slightly muffled reply. Angel turned and grinned apologetically at Lorne.

"Yeah, he's a monster. But a good one. A friendly one."

Gunn snorted then attempted to turn it into a cough. Angel glared at him. "That's not helpful!"

"Sorry man. 's just, well, it's funny that big bad Spike is scared of little old Lorne" Gunn shrugged

"Hey!" said Lorne indignantly. "I'll have you know I am a scary guy. I could scare the lyrics off the Cheeky Song if I wanted to! Come to think of it…that's not such a bad idea..."

Angel and Wesley shook their heads, and both turned back to Spike. "Spike?" asked Wesley. "Come out from under the covers. We won't hurt you." He felt a bit silly, explaining himself to a 4 year old, but it needed to be done. A small hand appeared, pushing back the cover. Spike sat up, then shifted slightly to his left, in order to be as far away from Lorne as he dared.

"That's better!" said Wesley. He moved and sat on the edge of the bed. Spike jumped and looked up into Wesley's face. "Now Spike, I need you to think hard for me. Can you remember how you came to…be like this?" he gestured at Spike. The baby looked down at himself then looked back to Wesley, confusion flooding his face. He suddenly blushed and turned away from the group.

"What's wrong? Spike?" Angel leant forward and put his hand on Spike's shoulder. "William?"

Spike suddenly turned over and looked Angel in the eyes. "Daddy?" he whispered. Angel shifted uncomfortably and removed his hand, determined not to look at his friends. "Um, no. I'm not your daddy." Tears welled in Spike's eyes. "But I'm sorta like a daddy. I'll look after you." Angel continued. Spike merely watched Angel for a moment, then nodded slowly, holding his arms out for a hug. Angel accepted, and pulled Spike onto his lap. The smaller vampire clung to Angel's shirt and closed his eyes.

The group of friends watched silently for a while as Spike nuzzled against Angel's shoulder, then stilled. Angel watched the sleeping form of Spike, and didn't even look up when Lorne spoke to him.

"So Angelcakes, any idea how this happened?"

Angel shook his head and stroked a strand of white-blonde hair out of Spike's face. It seemed that baby Spike's hair was not slicked back with gel, and was beginning to curl slightly.

"Any idea how we're gonna reverse it?" asked Gunn

The vampire hesitated, then looked up, the ghost of a mischievous grin playing on his features. "Oh, I dunno. I kinda like the new Spike."

"You mean you like him now!" grinned Lorne.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's four years old, Angelcakes. Don't you remember what it was like to be four?"

Angel raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Lorne paused. "Guess not. Anyway, he'll be up to all sorts of mischief once he wakes up!"

Angel gazed down at the sleeping vampire. "But he's so cute!"

"Spike!" Angel was standing with his hands on his hips, glaring down at the smaller vampire. Spike looked up with what he hoped was an innocent expression and flashed Angel a little grin. Angel's expression softened and he crouched down. "Spike? Look at me!" Spike had hidden his eyes behind his hands. "Spike." Angel warned. "I won't ask you again." Spike parted the fingers on his left hand and peered at Angel. Angel sighed. "Why won't you go to sleep?" Spike blinked. "Hellooo?" Angel waved his hand in front of Spike's face, but there was no reaction. "Aww c'mon, you were sleepy an hour ago!" He stood up. "Go to sleep!"

Spike moved his hands away from his face. "No." he said matter of factly.

Angel was taken aback by the little child arguing back. "Yes!" he said automatically.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Spike stood and mirrored Angel (standing with his hands on his hips).

The two vampires were arguing so loudly that neither one of them heard Wesley enter the room. He glanced from Spike to Angel, then spoke. "Er, Angel? Are you arguing with a four year old?"

Angel looked up in surprise. "No!" he said quickly. "I..." he pointed at Spike. "He started it!"

Spike glared at him and Wesley raised his eyebrows. Angel shook his head. "Man that was so school-yard!"

"What seems to be the problem?" asked Wesley, putting down the books he carried on Angel's desk.

"Spike won't go back to sleep." said Angel.

"Oh. Is this true Spike?"

Spike hesitated then nodded once. "But 'm not 'leepy!" he protested.

Wesley nodded. "Ok...well, how about you try?" Spike shook his head. "Come on don't be silly, you must be tired." Spike yawned, still shaking his head, causing Angel to snigger. Wesley shot him a warning look over his shoulder. Angel took Spike's hands and led him over to the large sofa in the corner. He lifted him up and sat him on it.

"There you are. Comfortable?" Spike's eyes widened and he glanced over the edge of the sofa. Angel frowned. "What is it? Are you afraid you're going to fall off?" Spike nodded and pushed himself into the back of the sofa. Angel stood up and walked over to his desk, and pressed the button on his speaker phone.

"Harmony?" there was no answer. "Harmony? HARMONY!"

"Oh, sorry boss! What can I do for you?"

Angel rolled his eyes and grimaced at Wesley, who grinned. "I need a load of pillows. And maybe some cushions."

"Oh sure, I'll just...why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want cushions and stuff?"

"I just do, ok? Nowish?"

"Ok you got it."

Angel sighed and turned to Wesley. "So, what've you got?"

Wesley hurried over to him and pulled some of the books closer. "There are a few on various spells that could do this. Obviously we cannot rule out demons so they're a couple on them. They're all rather vague though." He looked sadly at Spike, who was still pushed back into the back of the sofa with his eyes tightly shut. He lowered his voice. "I have to admit, I don't think these are going to be particularly useful."

Angel sighed again. "Well, I suppose we hafta try." He sunk into his leather chair and pulled a large book over. He wrinkled his nose at the clouds of dust emitted from the book. "Wes, how long, exactly, have you had these books?"

Wesley was just about to answer when there was a knock at the door. He opened it and was startled to find himself facing a mountain of fluffy white pillows.

"...little help? Please?"

"Oh, Harmony!" Wesley grabbed a few pillows and Angel jumped up to do the same.

Harmony staggered into the office and dropped the remaining pillows. She looked slightly flustered, and dusted off her hands. "I had to carry those up three sets of stairs!" she pouted.

"Why didn't you take the lift?" asked Angel. He began to carry the pillows over to the sofa.

"It's broken down. Again! Do you know how many times..." she trailed off when she saw Spike. "Who's the kid?"

"Er...it's Spike." said Angel. He placed the cushions around Spike, creating a barrier for him.

"What? Spike? But he's...how did...why...huh?"

Wesley couldn't help but smile. "We don't actually know. Now, if you'll excuse us..." he pointed to the door.

Harmony rolled her eyes and turned on her heel. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted!" she stalked out of the room and slammed the door shut. Angel winced. He finished sorting out the pillows and touched Spike's shoulder. "Spike? It's safe now, you won't fall off. Now please, go to sleep?"

Spike opened his eyes and relaxed. "Not 'leepy!"

Angel gently pushed Spike until he was lying down. "Just try, ok?"

He stood up and went back over to his desk, where Wesley had resumed reading. Angel sat down then put his feet up on his desk. He grabbed the book again and began to read.

Spike sighed and watched Angel's retreating back. 'This is no fun', he thought. He yawned, stretched, and gazed around the room. There wasn't much to look at. No pictures, no toys. No videos he could watch. He pouted when he realised there wasn't even a TV, and turned his head to Angel, screwed up his face, and stuck out his tongue. He grinned, then quickly held his hand in front of his mouth to hide it. No, he was ok; Angel was absorbed in his book and hadn't noticed. Spike sighed and sat up. He glanced around the room again; looking for something, anything, that could save him from this immense boredom. He noticed a small, dark shape by the wall move slightly. He watched it intently as it scuttled through a doorway. Glancing back at Angel, Spike slid off the sofa and crept across the room, following the mysterious shape.

"Urgh. This is getting us nowhere!" Angel threw the book down and kneaded his forehead with his knuckles. Wesley looked up and raised his eyebrow. "This calls for coffee."

Angel reached across to his speaker phone and pressed the button again. "Harmony? Coffee. Please. Now."

"Ok, I'll be right up."

"Thank you!"

Wesley looked confused. "I thought the coffee made you jumpy?"

Angel shrugged. "Desperate times." he said simply.

"Fair enough." Wesley turned back to his book.

Angel stretched and tapped his fingers on his desk. He closed his eyes and nodded his head to the beat. Then he went full out and started drumming the table with both hands.

"Angel! Angel!"

Angel opened his eyes and stared at Wesley. "What?"

"Do you have any idea how distracting that is?!"

"Sorry."

"Good."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and harmony entered, carrying a tray with a jug of coffee and two mugs on it. She put it on the desk (Wesley had to quickly move several books out of the way) and turned to Angel.

"You better have that lift fixed soon! Five people nearly spilled that all over me! Five!"

"Er...yeah. Sure. Whatever." Angel poured himself some coffee and gulped down a few mouthfuls. He sighed. "Much better."

Harmony rolled her eyes and turned to face the sofa. She frowned in confusion. "Um, boss? Where's Spike?"


End file.
